I’m scared to go out. I don’t want to face anyone right now. Maybe I can stay home forever. I can’t eat. I feel nauseous. I can’t sleep. I keep shaking… I don’t have anyone to talk to about this… And I can’t talk to anyone about it.. No one can find out. I’ll just forget everything that happened and it will be okay. I will be okay.
Everything happened so fast. But its over.
eb vday today.. woke up.. watched tv.. american idol. blah blah. julia picked me up at 8.. we went to SP&M with josh and ted. i didnt wanna drink but with pinsan being there i had to cause i was forced against my own will. drank 1 beer. then they went home. visited julian. he didnt really say anything.. just kept on playing his games. thats what i hate but im not gonna mention it. blah blah. nothing charm its nothing. now im at his house about to sleep. WHAT A VDAY. i shoulda went out with people but i chose to stay home. thank gosh julia went and got me. mm hmm.. happy valentines dayy.. erf.
Hmm.. lost my voice today.. ate some egg stuff and fish balls. that was good. anyways. Julian went to fields with the daddy. no comment about that. haha ahem ahem. his dad got mad at him. CAS night on Feb 23. Still no dress and didnt practice for the dance yet. I wonder if we’re even going to do it. not excited for the CAS night.. more excited for Fontana. did my zoology manual. some of it. blue dress blue dress.
if anyones reading this: dont expect it to be interesting. i just need to remember shit cause my memory is gay.
Last night Julian told Ian not to bring me to Omni. I went there to surprise him and he got mad. Then I had to go to Balk line cause Crissa and her sisters were going [ they were my ride home ] and Julian got mad again. I didnt drink anything that night.
Went to Julians house. Cried and told him everything I feel, he just went to sleep like my tears mean nothing. Kind of sucks. But whatever. Woke up, ordered Yellowcab, we fought, he said he wanted to break up. I went home.
