Babylove.

I went to Levings today to get some pants for me and my niggas. I was gonna steal them, I ain’t had no money! Met a girl there trying on some skirts. I was like, "What that smell like?" She was like, "mm?" She didn’t know what to say. I was like bitch don’t make me ask you again… Anyway, got her number. The next day we went to chicken-fil-a, some place in the mall. When I got there I was like bitch what are all these people out here? She said, well its the mall.. I was like whatever bitch GET ME A CHICKEN SANDWHICH & SOME WAFFLE FRIES! I was like bitch, she said what you wanna have to eat? I was like, go up there and just get me a chicken sandwhich with some waffle fries, maybe a coke to drink or somethin… She said what chu gonna get? I was like bitch go up to the counter, tell a nigga i want a chicken sandwhich & some waffle fries, FOR FREE! she said okay then she looked back, & asked me what I wanted to drink. I was like mmh.. get me a dr. pepper bitch. we got the food. she brought it to me, snatched it from her real fast. she sat down, i was like bitch who told you to sit down.. YOU BETTER WAIT FOR MY REQUEST. i said, go ahead & sit down cunt. She sat down & we ate. Later on in the evening, took her to silverball. play some video games or somethin. she wasnt having a good time. i said BITCH, YOU AINT NO NERD? I COULDLA SWORN YOU WERE!! and she said, i like to go shopping. I was like bitch, not on this day, cause i ain’t got no money… and you gonna give me the money you got. she gave me her purse. took the wallet out, saw some credit cards and some pictures of some other niggas. I was like, who are these niggas? She said, thats my brother.. I said HOLD ON BITCH, YOU BETTER NOT HAVE NO BROTHER. i said bitch, who is this nigga in this picture? she said thats tommy thats my little brother. i said bitch, you better not have no little brother. I ain’t trying to deal with no other niggas… she said well i have two. I was like BITCH. THATS A MISTAKE… took her back to silverball. got through playin. i said listen cunt, TODAY, AINT YOUR DAY. she said, what did i do? I said bitch you got some siblings & I DONT LIKE IT. she tried to make up for it, suckin my dick a little bit. I was like bitch that feel good. BUT… IT AINT ENOUGH. she took it to a new level, STARTED JACKIN ME OFF WHILE SHE WAS SUCKIN MY THING. i got a nut. yeah. i got a nut SO! got down and got my dick wet. told her that i wanted some pussy now. She was like i just sucked your dick & you just nutted… i was like IF YOU SASS ME ONE MORE TIME… BITCH ILL KILL YOU & YOUR LITTLE BROTHERS. she said okay. i got the pussy from her & i know i nutted cause i didnt use a condom. nutted in her pussy  got her pregnant!

UNFORGIVABLE

updates august 11

LAYING LOW right now. This shit is the best dude. I thought it would really suck but shoot its pretty fun cause I don’t have to go no where. haha well i do only cause _____ told me to go outside cause ______ was picking me up to chill and I was like wtf but whatever that was pretty fun even though daddy got mad cause we were being all loud outside of the house. Oh yeah and ____ was supposed to go that time but she didnt cause it was too late.

toots first time to try it. she didn’t like it. OH FUCK. gotta go to manila on thursday. fuck fuck fuck. DAMNIT. I want a whopper.

Bought some random stuff yesterday. Jeans and a trench & all my money was gone. Haha damn. I hate that. day with my main squeeze. She went home early right before ___ & ____ came over. GAY. but it was still arrite. I just sat in the car for a while and talk to them while they made me eat seeds and scared the shit out of me.

voicemail activated today.

toots got mad cause I didnt lend her my cd. I knew you would loose it! or forget it at your house! and shoot I appreciate music too much to let it go. And that was a good mixtape. then she got mad at me and then she asked for ____’s number and i was like fuck no im not giving that shit to you cmonn omg.

what else do i need to remember…
Today, you need to sleep FOOL OMG.
get a job get a job.
almost legal, thats whats up.. save your money bitch cause you’re gonna end up wasting it.

toots is sleeping over tonight thank GOD. birthday parties later. i do not know the plan.

mommas bday passed wtfff.

I miss my bebe sweater. i need to get that back grr.

get your school shit straight. you gonna stay? you gonna go? idk. idk.

xoxo

Ill start writing here again. since no one reads it anyways.. just so i remember whats going on with my life.
ok stupid lolibitch account. Pissed me off for a while but Myron was right, theres alot more things to worry about in this world than people loving me.
ate burger machine for the first time yesterday with dc, shit was BOMB. I love it as much as i love shawarmas. Daddy would kill me though if he knew i was eating street foods. remember charm you got sick from those damn pugo & fishballs.
weekend, party, blah. fucked up with Bubu for the second time. why shes still my best friend, i dont know. I love her to death. Bebie is a warrior. I wish i could be as strong as her. Big girls dont cry right?
Friday was arriite kojs party. saturday was arriite too and only cause i was under the influence.
today started out good. woke up in bed late. chatted with dc and myron. myron got me talking about life & what not. what am i gonna do when im legal… we’ll see. I dont WANT to run away like my sister did, but things here are pretty fucked up. I can’t leave my daddy though. I have to take care of him.
So dropped out, be back next sem. HOPEFULLY better than lame excuse of a class I had back then. Gossip gossip gossip rumors right now.
I lost like 12 lbs this summer cause i gained like 10 this summer then i lost 10 then i lost 2. then i fuckin gained one so im back at like 109 and none of that shit matters cause i still look the same.
gotta go to the doctor on friday. check up again. i swear im dying or something. wouldnt be too bad, hey. just messing.
miss my two hoes.
its almost 7am. my ass needs to get some sleep. i got NO money. broke as hell since im not going to school right now.
I think i need to change the title of my blog. think i will. if you knew me well, you’d know why.
i shoulda put down all the myron stuff here… aww tooo bad i never noticed or even remembered i put shit on here about julian. pretty tight. that was the times we were falling apart though.

i miss myron. well i miss being with him all the time like we used to. BEING SECURE. I miss our platonic relationship. The late nights with no drama. We never really had any drama. Just two misunderstandings. Our relationship was pretty good though. But nothing OMG exciting.. You know what i mean? I guess thats why i want it to be platonic because our exciting moments all happened when we werent officially a couple.

no love life now. just trying to get everything settled. gotta get my effing permit renewed asap so i can get my lisence again before my drug test expires.

Joaquim thinks im being an ass. Im just a bitch, he thinks ive changed which i guess i have but im an angry drunk and if i dont make pansin to you when im drunk it DOESNT MEAN I HATE YOU. it means im fucking throwed and i dont know what the hell im doing so dont come up to me and talk to me all hostile cause ill just get confused and furious.

stole Joms car what last week? with Bebie. Fuckin scariest moment. Not cause i stole his car, but cause he called hella mad. Shit was fun though but wrong. But still fun. I said I was sorry.

TYRA show is on! yeyey.

anyways, AUF is a retarded school. haha shiet man.
i miss sp&m. the spot near the church is hot as fuck.

this stuff is getting long.

just updating.
need to talk to joan soon before she has the baby. its been a while..

xoxo

I’m scared to go out. I don’t want to face anyone right now. Maybe I can stay home forever. I can’t eat. I feel nauseous. I can’t sleep. I keep shaking… I don’t have anyone to talk to about this… And I can’t talk to anyone about it.. No one can find out. I’ll just forget everything that happened and it will be okay. I will be okay.

Everything happened so fast. But its over.

eb vday today.. woke up.. watched tv.. american idol. blah blah. julia picked me up at 8.. we went to SP&M with josh and ted. i didnt wanna drink but with pinsan being there i had to cause i was forced against my own will. drank 1 beer. then they went home. visited julian. he didnt really say anything.. just kept on playing his games. thats what i hate but im not gonna mention it. blah blah. nothing charm its nothing. now im at his house about to sleep. WHAT A VDAY. i shoulda went out with people but i chose to stay home. thank gosh julia went and got me. mm hmm.. happy valentines dayy.. erf.

Hmm.. lost my voice today.. ate some egg stuff and fish balls. that was good. anyways. Julian went to fields with the daddy. no comment about that. haha ahem ahem. his dad got mad at him. CAS night on Feb 23. Still no dress and didnt practice for the dance yet. I wonder if we’re even going to do it. not excited for the CAS night.. more excited for Fontana. did my zoology manual. some of it. blue dress blue dress.

if anyones reading this: dont expect it to be interesting. i just need to remember shit cause my memory is gay.

Last night Julian told Ian not to bring me to Omni. I went there to surprise him and he got mad. Then I had to go to Balk line cause Crissa and her sisters were going [ they were my ride home ] and Julian got mad again. I didnt drink anything that night.

Went to Julians house. Cried and told him everything I feel, he just went to sleep like my tears mean nothing. Kind of sucks. But whatever. Woke up, ordered Yellowcab, we fought, he said he wanted to break up. I went home.